Random
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Random
When a woman is on her period and a man decides to have anal sex with her not realizing that she also has explosive diarrhea at the same time. The woman wants to please her man and thinks that his penis will act as a levee and hold the shit in, but she doesn't realize that the added pressure from his ejaculate will cause the diarrhea to forcefully explode all over when he pulls out. The resulting cum, blood, and shit mixture takes days to clean up.
I was having a great time giving it to Beatrice in the ass, but all of a sudden she had a Mississippi Levee break when I pulled out and shit got all over the place. Since I already came, I just wiped my dick on her pillow and went home. It was a good thing we had flood insurance .
29π 2π
Short for Wallet, Phone, Keys. What you have to take when you leave the house.
Mike: "Did you hear that Noah got locked out of his house?"
John: "What, doesn't he know about WPK?"
Rey: "No he needs someone to tell him everything."
Mark: I bet he even needs someone to tell him to wipe his ass."
21π 1π
When you are in a public restroom, and someone starts a conversation with you and it goes on too long
It wasn't bad enough that I had a commodus interupptus. Then when I was washing my hands some guy decided to tell me one of his lavastories.
When you're a full grown man, but act like a whiny little bitch when things don't go your way.
Mike: "This guy in our fantasy football league just through a hissy fit because he didn't read the league message feed and forgot to draft. "
Mark: "What?
Mark: "What he pulled a Newman?"
Mike: "No. I kicked him out of the league before he could quit! He always complained about everything anyway. He was lame."
That look on a girls face when you cum on her tits. Not a full on grin, but just a subtle smile that you aren't sure what it means, but you think she's enjoying it.
Sherry gave me her Mona Lisa Smile when I came all over her tits, but it went away after my buddy Tim nutted all over her face.
36π 13π
When you masturbate into the hose of someone's anti-snoring sleep device. The cum then flies around in the hose in a circular fashion gaining pressure until it hits the sleeping person's face. The resulting shock combined with the wind and sound makes the person wake up and think that they are in a tornado.
My friend John was passed out with his sleep device on so I unhooked the house and jerked off in it. He woke up when the jizz hit his face and screamed, "Wow, Ocean City Hurricane last night, and now a Kansas Tornado!"
56π 2π
When a person bites both ends off a piece of Twizzlers licorice and then inserts it in another persons anus leaving a bit of the licorice exposed. They then pour fireball whiskey down the straw and suck it back out.
Things took an unexpected turn at my buddy's bachelor party when John tried to give Mark an Ocean City Hurricane. He had a hard time getting the straw to stay in since Mark and Scottie had done so much felching the night before. They almost decided to do a Kansas Tornado instead.
36π 1π