the captain effect

When all forces combine to create the ultimate meth child, grown yet completely dulled and retarded, the creature would be known as "captain autism". When "it" finds a new victim to splooge its flem, and beat off to, it is known as the Captain Effect. Where the victim can no longer escape this new found growth of a creature attempting to suck the victim off at the force of a thousand suns

John became depressed as he realized he was under the spell of the captain effect.