necktop computer

A flash drive worn around the neck on a lanyard. Generally the property of computer geeks or people like me, when the company doesn't supply a laptop but expects us to have numerous files at our fingertops. Also: necktop

I pulled all the files off my necktop computer and left them with the manager.

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asscroft

From John Ashcroft, ex attorney-general of the US and enforcer of laws that nobody wants.
Verb: to be thrown into prison forever for something relatively minor.
Noun: reason for prison overcrowding

They caught him smoking weed and asscrofted him into the joint for 20 years.

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