Scotchy Mother

A disgusting old hag with hairs growing out of the wrinkles on its liver spots. She is the mother Pork Scotch and even more scotchy than the Porky Scotcher himself. It is constantly driven around in the Scotchy Mother Wheelchair by Scotchman and Goofy Granny.

Monk: The chair's there! Is the Scotchy Mother here?

Mick: No. Porky just took it out of the half car while he was raising the back seat to make it a bed.

68👍 13👎

Spaxl

Also known as Axl. The retarded singer in the same band as Goosetard. He has an awful and high singing voice and likes to have goose fits with Goosetard while making people's ears bleed.

Spaxl: Come on Adam lets do some powerslides.

Goosetard: Ok, I'll do my awesome 10 12 solo

68👍 8👎

10 12

The most ridiculous solo in the guitar world. It was invented by Goosetard. It is just two frets, 10 and 12 on one string, 1st. The half Goose, half Retard can't do the solo without having a Goose Fit.

Wow!! That solo looks really difficult!!!

Yeah! 10 12! You know, it has 2 WHOLE FRETS!!!

Woooaahhh.

74👍 30👎

Pork Scotch Dance

A gay dance that only Pork Scotch will do when drunk at his garlic bread barbeque. It involves bending over and sharply moving his arms back and forward with a delay between each one.

MONKUS: What the hell is Pork Scotch doing?

MICKUS: It's a gay dance he does whenever he gets drunk with his wrinkly 'girlfriend' at one of his daily barbeques.

MONKUS: I see. Pork Scotch dance. Pretty stupid!

221👍 33👎

Nogtard

The absolute spacker of a man that loves Hill Ginger biscuits and Sargents apple pies. This fat Nig-Nog is also known as the Patrick Road Chimp and only moves it's huge tongue when trying to impress people by stating the obvious. Many believe the reason for him having such a long tongue is because he has licked all the vanilla from the bottom of every bucket ever consumed by him. Living with the Spack Dancer, this retard tries to operate the fish tank with the television remote.

Nogtard: Done some shoppin' then?

Dad: <struggling with 10 asda bags> yeah.

75👍 22👎

Pork Scotch

A boring old man that has a shaved head where there is a bald spot at the top-back and the hair surrounding it is spirally. Pork Scotch is the name of the hairstyle but the bloke is called a Pork Scotch aswell.When the boring old bastard speaks to you, you feel suicidal with boredom. He wears a cowboy hat-shaped buffalo skin hat. He has terrible tast in clothing, he sits outside in the back garden and thinks its cool and fun to have a bbq evryday wearing a hawaiian-like shirt with horrible, boring shorts reading a paper with his wife that looks like a man in drag. Pork Scotch is also known as Mr Boring, Mr Ugly, and The Arsehole. His real name is Max (AKA Pork Scotch)

MONK: Look at The Arsehole. The clothes are terrible! Ugly, Ugly old bastard!
DAD: I know. Look, he´s sitting at the table in the garden with his back to us so we get a good view of the Pork Scotch

277👍 40👎

Pork Scotch Flu

A disgusting nig-nog disease given to many innocent people by Pork Scotch after he brought it back from his holiday to South Africa. "Me no pay for cure mon."

Monk: Pork Scotch gave us that virus because i caught it at yours and he just got back from a nogger country.

Mick: You're probably right, it was a case of the Pork Scotch Flu. Ugly, old BASTARD!

191👍 45👎