asshole handshake

The rubbing together of two fists, thumb-and-index-finger side-in (The side that looks like an asshole), recognizing that the other fellow and you are both, well, assholes.

Monti: I feel like such an asshole. Am I?
Ed: Yes, yes you are. But so am I. Let's perform the secret asshole handshake. (perform the gesture).

23👍 4👎

magic dick ruler

The imaginary measuring device guys in personal ads use to measure their penises. The MDR adds anywhere from 2 to 5 inches to the length of a penis.

Ad-reader: "Wow! This guy has 10 inches! Check out this ad!"
Friend: "Maybe if you're measuring with the magic dick ruler..."

18👍 4👎