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Planking at closing time

The act of looking to get laid at closing time at the local dive bar. It refers to there typically only being large & drunk women available, & a plank needing to be tied to your ass to keep from falling in to the big girls vagina. The short form is planking.

Yo!! Did you guys see Bill today? He was really desperate & out planking at closing time at The Dirty Dive Bar. The last time I saw him he had hooked up with a Big Bertha. Hope he makes it home from his planking expedition unscathed.

by Ehud Avni July 7, 2011

7πŸ‘ 10πŸ‘Ž


Planking

The definition from the 1970's. To place a board, between two points off the ground, in order to defecate. This is usually done to evoke terror in the unsuspecting as it was often done between buildings & high up enough to not be noticed until it was too late.

Friday night Bill & Ehud hung out on the roof top getting drunk, smoking, & scheming. When they had to take a dump they walked out on the board between roof tops & planked an unsuspecting crowd walking by. They were lucky to slip away in the darkness because people couldn't have been too happy about the planking they received from ten stories up.

by Ehud Avni July 7, 2011

8πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


Undercover Nigger Lover

A white person who has sex with black people, but finds it shameful to tell their white friends for fear of rejection or ridicule.

Tim's dad kicked him out of the house & disowned him when he found out Tim was banging black girls. He tried to hide it by being an undercover nigger lover, but all UNL's eventually get caught.

by Ehud Avni November 12, 2010

51πŸ‘ 19πŸ‘Ž


Woman Cave

A lesbians large vagina. The possessor used to be straight, but because so many men dumped her over the size of her box, she is now a lesbian. She is still completely unaware of how large her vagina is, how it has ended her relationships, how it has made her hate men, & doesn't know she is placing the blame in the wrong place. It also never occurred to her that the reason some men kept trying to screw her asshole was that it was so much tighter.

See relation to Man Cave

Bill: "Why was that chick on the other side of the bar freaking on you?"

Ron: "I went out with her 6 months ago & dumped her because she had a huge pussy, & wouldn't let me bang her ass. She was trying to tell me she's better off with a chick licking her woman cave."

by Ehud Avni November 17, 2010

17πŸ‘ 65πŸ‘Ž


California potato chip

Dried sperm on clothing.

After riding the bus home from the strip club, Ehud was sporting a California potato chip on his shorts from losing it while getting a lap dance.

by Ehud Avni August 22, 2010

37πŸ‘ 35πŸ‘Ž


Man Cave

An inside joke among all males. A large vagina. The possessor is usually unaware of how loose she really is. She makes comments about how tight it is & how it'll be the best sex you'll ever have. This usually results in the male having teeth impressions or bruising of the lower lip from clamping down & trying to keep from laughing out loud or smiling.

Joe: Did you bang Wilma last night? Was she a wild ride?

Lee: Dude it was horrible. She has a man cave. I almost fell in. I came but it was not very good, then bailed when she fell asleep. That was such a mistake. Now I understand how a kid's head can pop outta that shit.

by Ehud Avni May 19, 2010

26πŸ‘ 81πŸ‘Ž


Mad Shitter

A person who enjoys defecation, leaving it for others to admire, considers it an art form, & likes to take it to the next level. Favorite places are on top of cars, on supermarket shelves, in food containers, & in his pants. Photographs of the deed are required for his gallery. He will leave it on his fingers, for others to unsuspectingly smell, or wipe them & stuff the napkin under his car seat because he's not afraid of shit. The look of terror when the unsuspecting come across his work delights him to no end. This may work him up so much that he will jerk off. If he does multiple dumps in one day, he may go looking for a street whore to bang before washing his hands.

Ron: I was at work today & the supermarket stunk.

Bill: What happened?

Ron: Some Mad Shitter left a dump on the shelf behind a wall of cans. It stunk everywhere in the store, but it was hard to find. I had to clean it up after we found it. The store still stunk when I punched out for the day.

Bill: Really? That's odd. When I went out to my car today a Mad Shitter had taken a dump on the windshield. Pissed me off worse when I saw the dents on the roof & hood from where he leaned when he was squatting.

Steve: Wow!! The Mad Shitter must be on a rampage. I was watching a movie the other night & eating a pint of ice cream. About a third of the way through the taste changed. I asked my GF to taste it. She said it wasn't right. I turned on the lights & checked it out. Why the hell would there be corn in Rocky Road? Man, the Mad Shitter is too good at his craft!!

John: I think the Mad Shitter left a gallery of photos of his work on the bulletin board at school. They all had times & dates on them. Some were covered in toasted coconut, some in sprinkles, one was in a cat box, another was a windshield with a wiper blade arm lodged in it. Many of them were just dumps on cars. One even looked like he fired a load off after taking the dump. The Mad Shitter must be stopped!!

Jim: Dude at school shit in his hand when it was down his pants, & pulled it out to show the whole cafeteria during lunch. He was laughing like a mad man. I'm pretty sure Udi is the Mad Shitter.

by Ehud Avni May 18, 2010

28πŸ‘ 11πŸ‘Ž