Lauren

A very beautiful young strong young girl who doesn't take shit from anyone no matter who they are. As well as being funny smart and having a beautiful personality has trouble admitting how beautiful she really. It may take a while for you to earn her respect and trust but once you have you will be glad you took the time to get to know her. But most of all her honesty and loyalty is what is mostly desirable and that's why any guy would be lucky to even stand next to her.

Lauren is a beautiful girl

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Brnstig

Brnstig : (pronounced as if it were spelled "brunshtig") backside, the buttocks, the bumcheeks, the chuddies, arse etc. Generally considered one of the more offensive definitions for the buttocks, given its extreme lack of vowels.

Origin : Eastern European street name, re-defined by touring musicians.

1. "Kiss my Brnstig"
2. "That girl's Brnstig is so large that it's pratically overflowing from her underpants"
3. "Get ready for me to thrunge your Brnstig with a lamp-post, in preparation for a good old Croach."

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McGregor

The term used to describe the hideous, vaginal bulge often spotted in obese and older women. A McGregor is particularly noticeable in tight trousers; "dustbin bag full of yoghurt" is a good metaphor for this phenomenon.

The McGregor often conceals a pork pie.

"I would have shagged her, but I was worried that her wobbling McGregor might crush my cock completely."

"If you continue eating at such a rate, you'll soon find a monster McGregor stretching the seems of your underwear."

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Fench

Fench : paradoxical act of aggression - as a fench is entirely unprovoked, any retribution won't serve as due revenge, because the revenge was provoked by the fench. No prior warning can be given to the victim, and a fench cannot be used as a threat, becase these both imply provocation of some sort - a fench must be an act of wanton, spontaneous violence.

In other words, an act of aggression so successful that full revenge is impossible.

Can be used in various forms to describe the act of aggression (usually resulting in comic humiliation of the victim), the aggressor and the victim, ie:

1. "I've just witnessed a particularly amusing fench"
2. "I've just been fenched"
3. "You're worse than a bastard - you're a fencher!"

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Slunce

Slunce : profoundly bad diarrhoea. Usually reminiscent of a waterfall and/or volcanic explosion.

Causes : very hot curry, polluted water, etc.

Treatment : much wiping usually required. Advisable to drink lots of water.

1. "I ate a vindaloo last night, and filled the bog with slunce this morning."

Can also be used as an insult, ie:
1. "Your face is about as attractive as a bucket of slunce."
2. "This food tastes/looks like slunce."
3. "Your essay is utter slunce."

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Brolly-whopping

Brolly-whopping : the act of inserting an umbrella into the anus, follwed by repeated opening and closing of the parasol.

The term can be used when speaking of beach parasols as well as umbrellas.

Origin : sexual fetish/punishment of German descent.

1. "I've just been brolly-whopped."
2. "This pornography movie would be vastly improved by the addition of a brolly-whopping scene."
3. "I fancy a brolly-whopping."

Can also be used as a threat, ie:
1. "Shut the hell up, lest I give you a brolly-whopping."

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Pork Pie

A metaphor for the genitals of a female pensioner. Derived from the fact that in the case of both the pork pie and the pensioner's minge, one must wipe off the crust and lick out the jelly before one reaches the meat.

1. 'She looked young, but when we got down to business she surprised me with her Pork Pie'.

2. 'The crust on her Pork Pie was so thick that I needed sandpaper to wipe it off, and then there was enough jelly to fill three tins of dog food... then, to top it off, when we finally got down to it, she was so saggy that the effect was akin to throwing a sausage down a hallway'.

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