toms river

Where everybody knows your name... because they're talking behind your back. Nights consist of riding up and down 37 and Hooper asking, "So what do you wanna do tonight?" Known nationally for our Little League World Championship, cancerous tap water, and the fact every corner has a Wawa LITERALLY. We gave you Piper Parabo and... We go to the beach, no "down the shore" shit. Seaside is always overrun by BENNY's and the waves are knee high (on good days), but the boardwalk is always good for a fight. Careful of the dunes, they're teeming with horny teenagers and Sand People. Our mall is beat and the best place to smoke up, Castle Park, is across the street from the fucking Police Station! Some MTV executive must own real estate here, cause North is always being Made and we hosted MTV SUMMER for 2 years!?!

Let's go to the TERD (Toms River Diner)!

274👍 133👎

Eoin

Dirty, blonde haired (comma optional) guy from Ireland. Plays guitar in repeat. Is known for terrible jokes. Had dreadlocks and height deficiency now has dreadlock deficiency and height.

"Wheelchairs are fun, especially when youve just pushed the owner out of them."

"What are you talking about? Equality? You're a woman for a reason, now where's my food?"

89👍 178👎

JD-Co

Street name of now deceased singer John Denver

I used to hang in da hood wit mah nigga JD-Co.

2👍 3👎