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Ham Finger

The act of digitally pleasing a siberian woman outdoors with rolled slices of ham.

After a long day of ejaculating at the pinnacle of a cartwheel and eating sandwiches, I figured I would share the pleasure by giving my neighbors wife a sloppy ham finger.

by El Presidente 69 March 1, 2022

15👍 2👎


Hot Lunch Tuggy

The act of giving a hand job while licking the anus of a man. During ejaculation the man defecates into his partners mouth while simultaneously showering them in semen.

I had planned to give my husband a Hot Lunch Tuggy on the night of our 46th anniversary, but he had Applebees for lunch and I detest the taste of digested asparagus.

by El Presidente 69 July 6, 2017

10👍 1👎


Yoga Spit Cup

When a woman enters the "wide legged forward fold" yoga position and a man recieves oral sex from her while simultaneously spreading her labia from above and using her vagina as a spit cup.

I hooked up with a confused feminist from a physical therapy training course who wanted to meld progressive sex with redneck values, so I gave her the Yoga Spit Cup.

by El Presidente 69 January 7, 2017

11👍 1👎


Habokian

The act of mispronouncing a person's name on video while stoned out of your mind.

One night after pushing a fat 100 of yellow bam into my veins I made a video mispronouncing the name of a state candidate, thereby giving him the ol' Habokian.

by El Presidente 69 March 1, 2022


Ejaquine

Buying a male horse for the sole purpose of tugging him to orgasm and living off of his seed.

After trying every other diet and feeling like a failure, I tried Ejaquine and lost 35 pounds...but have terrible acne.

by El Presidente 69 March 1, 2022


The Acquaintance

When you masturbate with your non dominant hand for the second time in one day.

Towards the end of a full day of flapping to snuf videos I attempted to finish with the stranger before realizing I had already used this move around noon which qualified my final round as the acquaintance.

by El Presidente 69 October 16, 2017

8👍 1👎