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Random
The act whitening your womanâs teeth with jizz. She smiles as you nut on her grill.
No more expensive teeth whitening treatments since we discovered the tooth nut. Come on babe, show us your pearly whites!
When your GF accidentally grabs a tube of Ben Gay instead of massage oil while giving a hand job, thus causing your purple dick helmet to burn intensely.
Stupid bitch gave me a fire helmet last night. She needs to learn how to read.
4👍 6👎
Getting fucked in your neck hole on the Fourth of July.
A Star Spangled Stoma is a terrible way to celebrate the birth of our great nation.
Exposing your bare ass hole to direct sun light to extract energy for body and soul.
Having worked underground for many years, Chad was keenly aware of the need for sun light to live a healthy life. Chad tried spending more time outdoors and even shaved his head in an attempt to absorb more rays. Turns out the solution was right behind him the whole time. He decided to lay down in his front yard, completely naked, pull his knees back to his ears and aim his shit socket directly at the sun. Chadâs bung pulled in rays like a satellite dish. After only 30 seconds he had more energy than a fat kid chasing an ice cream truck. Chadâs discovery, the âsolar rim jobâ if you will, could just be the free energy solution the world has been waiting for.
Performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, at the same time, flapping your arms like an Angry Pterodactyl taking off from a rocky ledge.
Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
The act of performing a violent hand job on the gentleman to your left and the gentleman to your right, simultaneously, while flapping your arms like a prehistoric bird taking off from a rocky cliff.
Angry Pterodactyl; a nursery rhyme.
Hickory dickory dock
Fast Pat has two handfuls of cock
The clock struck two
Cody and Riggs shot their goo
Then dropped Pat at the end of the block
When you wait so long for your Uber that you shit your pants. There are two kinds of Uber shitters...those that will still get in the car with their shitty pants and that those that refuse to get in, out of respect for the upholstery.
After a big meal and several draft beers, Ryan and his crew needed an Uber to take them to the club. Their driver, Omar, was still 10 minutes away when Ryan started having terrible shit pains. Rather than risk missing the ride and disappointing his crew, he decided to hold it in till they got to the club....bad decision. With Omar but minutes away, Ryan dropped an Uber shit straight through his underwear and into his pants. The Uber pulled up to the curb and now it was crunch time. Ryan refused to get in the car, it was a matter principle. His crew jumped in and swore they would never tell anybody about the incident. Ryan stood alone on the sidewalk and called his mom to bring him pants and underwear.