Ableton Live

A piece of Audio mixing & production software that makes every 18 year old, untalentless club rat think they can call themselves a DJ. These posers usually have little to no knowledge of music structure or basic mixing abilities. Often seen bragging about the fact they are 'DJs', in hopes of faunicating with attractive members of the opposite sex. Most intelligent people see right through this charade, however, when the subject gets on his knees and sucks off enough club owners & promoters to finally get himself a paid club set, and attempts to mix songs together on turntables (instead of his laptop) creating a sound not dissimilar to a bunch or horses running mixed with someone running their fingers down a chalk board.

John: Guess what bro?...Now I'm a hectic DJ n shit

Robert: Last time you touched a set of turntables I wanted to neck myself because it sounded so terrible!

John: that was before, now I use Ableton Live! Its so easy, even a retarded infant could mix on it.

Robert: Well thank christ for that! Anyways I'm going to go over there now...you stay here
*walks away laughing at poser*

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Club Rat

A person (contrary to popular belief, can be a member of either sex) who regularly frequents the discothèque. Can often be seen posing, wearing the latest trends in clothing including shirts with lame, bold slogans & wearing sunglasses inside & at night, handing out club discount entry passes so they can brag about being a promoter, attempting to sneak into the VIP area & gurning their face off from munching too many disco biscuits.

Robert: Look at John over there...what a disgrace! Hes such a filthy club rat.

Shirley: Yeah its OK to not go to the club for one week! Is that a girls shirt from Supre that hes wearing?

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