Scottish snorkel dive

When you go down on a girl with a tie clip on your nose and accidentally rip out parts of her uterus...

I gave the Mrs a Scottish snorkel dive last night and had to pick the remnants of her uterian wall off my tie clip afterwards

Fizzy Guinness

When you loosen the lid of a carbonated drink, hold it on the top of the bottle whilst shaking it vigorously, and then quickly shove it up their ass so the lid explodes off and a combination of froth and shit spills everywhere

My girlfriend pissed me off last night so as we finished doggy style, I snuck a Fizzy Guinness up her ass

Cumgnac

Whea posh prick asks you to spit the semen into a brandy glass, swirl it around and breathe in the wonderful aromas and bask in the ambience.

I say dear Bridget, 'ti's a fine evening to enjoy a frivolent glass of my finest cumgnac, wouldn't you agree?