Fizzy Guinness

When you loosen the lid of a carbonated drink, hold it on the top of the bottle whilst shaking it vigorously, and then quickly shove it up their ass so the lid explodes off and a combination of froth and shit spills everywhere

My girlfriend pissed me off last night so as we finished doggy style, I snuck a Fizzy Guinness up her ass

Scottish snorkel dive

When you go down on a girl with a tie clip on your nose and accidentally rip out parts of her uterus...

I gave the Mrs a Scottish snorkel dive last night and had to pick the remnants of her uterian wall off my tie clip afterwards

Cumgnac

Whea posh prick asks you to spit the semen into a brandy glass, swirl it around and breathe in the wonderful aromas and bask in the ambience.

I say dear Bridget, 'ti's a fine evening to enjoy a frivolent glass of my finest cumgnac, wouldn't you agree?