Elephant

A penis with a length of about 14-28 inches. Elephants are said to cause death to females on occasion due to intestinal bleeding or, in some cases, orgasms with intensity measurable on the Richter scale. Only a hundred Elephants have been found on Earth. One known Elephant belongs to Till Lindemann of Rammstein. The majority are said to exist somewhere in Africa.

Girl: My BF is about 6 inches, you?
Slut: My current BF has an Elephant. He made me so wide.
Girl: You're a slut, you know that?

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Money

1.) The one fool-proof way for humans to attract a member of the opposite sex.

2.) Orgasmic song by Pink Floyd.

1.) Guy: "I have money"
Girl: "I love you! Let's get married and have 20 kids!"

2.) Money, get away. Get a good job with more pay and you're O.K.

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Stitch

Small, blue, and furry character on a Disney movie made in 2002. His only purpose on Earth is to lure Lilo into his deathtrap and mutilate her by ripping apart her flesh and feasting upon her organs. Do not be persuaded by the cute family movie, that asshole is a killer.

Director: And in scene 14, Stitch climbs out the treehouse and finds Lilo where he proceeds to drive a knife through her chest.
Advisors: Uh, that's probably not a good idea.
Director: Oh, right, this is a Disney movie.

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Lamp

Synonym for "sex."

Jackie and I had some hot, sweet lamp last night.

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Pet your dog nose

To be used interchangeably with the phrase: "rub your nipple." The word 'pet' may also be subbed out for something fitting with the circumstance, such as the words 'squeeze' 'smack' or 'flip.'

"I'm gonna pet your dog nose"

Translation: I'm going to rub your nipple

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Underwear

The only thing separating two people from a good time. It is found on men as boxers that do a poor job of concealing what lies underneath. It is found women as panties that are sexy as hell no matter if you can see under them or not. Underwear can be removed easily by dragging them down from the waist and past the feet. However, they are removed even more easily by grabbing them by both sides and, with a swift and rough motion, yanking them hard enough until they have ripped completely off the person. Believa. Only then shall you obtain the prize beneath, whether that be a penis (or Elephant) or vagina.

My underwear is black with a single white stripe. My girl rips them off when she's being feisty and we stay up all night.

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Westboro Baptist Church

A religious extremist group based in Topeka, Kansas lead by Fred Phelps. The church is made of mainly the Phelps family because nobody else is screwed up enough to join. Phelps's daughter, Shirley Phelps-Roper is the main spokesperson for the church, making appearances on talk shows, radio shows, and the news to be verbally abused by those with common sense. The main focus of the church is that God hates everything and everyone besides the members of the church. In their minds, God's wrath on humanity is the death of our sons and daughters in Iraq. The group is easily most famous for its frequent protests and rallies at military funerals and other funerals that they feel like showing up at. They hold up signs that display vulgar messages and images, trying to get our attention. It gets our attention, but not the kind they want. The Westboro Baptist Church has also been called the most hated family in America, which is appropriate.

The Westboro Baptist Church's main website is called "godhatesfags.com." Another site by them is "godhatesamerica.com." Wow.

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