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Dad-stache

The dad-stache is a unique moustache that is perhaps the pinnacle of all staches. While it appears similar to a 70s porn stache, it is not quite the same since it is not as creepy.

Males can only grow one of these badboys once they have had a kid (in particular a son). It is a biologic reaction that has evolved through the years because such a moustache commands respect from ones offspring and in general demonstrates clear bad-assery.

You kind of had this nasty scum stache vibe going on until your wife had your son. Then all the sudden you developed a wicked dad-stache that made Burt Reynolds look like a pubescent cheeseball!

by Elwood Lane July 14, 2012

215πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


velocofupa

a highly mobile, agile and shifty ass fupa with extremely sharp claws.they are most commonly found in areas which contain a large concentration of yuppie middle age women with fupas that happen to work out alot.

beware. these fupa's are crafty.

i was walking home yesterday and I fuckin got chased by a velocofupa....it crept up outta the high grass

by Elwood Lane November 21, 2007

9πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Mutual-Rebound-Sex

The phenomenon in which two acquaintances/friends, both recently single after the dissolution of a long term relationship, become engaged in a purely sexual relationship. This must occur very shortly after the dissolution of said long term relationship.

This phenomenon is quintessentially mutual and void of strategic action and time ordering of events beyond the fact that both of your past relationships ended around the same time. Put bluntly, you both become single and then bam, one night you just start to hook up.

Person 1: It was really strange. Last night I thought I heard Adam leaving Jen's room.

Person 2: Ya that's kinda weird. They both just broke up with their ex's a couple weeks ago

Person 1: I think we're witnessing the MRS phenomenon

Person 2: Huh?

Person 1: Mutual-rebound-sex

by Elwood Lane January 26, 2013

178πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Nam-Stache

A mustache variant. Specifically, a mad dog (or Hulk Hogan if you prefer) that only combat Vietnam vets can grow after they've reached the age of 55. Only after you have looked eye ball to eye ball with the man in the black pajamas (a worthy fucking adversary) will you be able to grow this mustache.

Most, if not all, of the gentleman sporting this stache will be wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat and a pair of gold aviator sunglasses They may, or may not, also have a kick ass nickname, like "Dead Eye" or "Bunny".

Is your uncle Jack a porn director or a Nam vet?

You can't tell from his supreme nam-stache? I thought it was obvious!

by Elwood Lane March 19, 2017


Dysfunctional family size

A level of measurement, in this case it denotes one 1.75 L bottle of hard alcohol.

You're guaranteed to find at least one of these hidden in every white, suburban pantry. Their main purpose is to sedate soccer moms and allow their underage kids to get shit housed and try to play tennis with the cat.

Man, last night was boring as hell until Mark found his mom's dysfunctional family sized bottle of Cuervo. Next thing I know we turned his living room into a slip n' slide and Ashley puked in the china cabinet.

by Elwood Lane November 4, 2012

195πŸ‘ 3πŸ‘Ž


Christ-a-roni

A general slang term for Christians.

This Christ-a-roni kid flipped a hard B in biology today and stormed outta class.

I was driving through Oklahoma looking at all the billboards and man, there are some serious ass Christ-a-ronis in that state.

by Elwood Lane December 2, 2014

151πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž


Bropology

A type of apology typically given by bros of all types and ages. At its core, it's a classic non-apology, apology (i.e. "I'm sorry I'm not sorry"). It emanates from supreme arrogance and a hegemonic masculine need to be dominant, and thus never wrong.

You often see this type of apology come out of the mouth of a bro who's been caught doing something controversial and is forced to apologize; however, they obviously think that everybody is just over-reacting, or being hyper PC, and they should not have to apologize, but will do so in order to get everyone off their back.

"Ugh, okay, I'll give you a bropology. I'm guess I'm sorry...sorry that you're such a gay ass pussy bitch that you can't hack my (insert sexist/racist/xenophobic/hyper masculine opinion and behavior here). Fuckin' sack up, bro."

by Elwood Lane September 14, 2017

105πŸ‘ 1πŸ‘Ž