Twilight Saga

A book series by Stephenie Meyer. Probably infact the worse books in the history of time. These books are about sparkling vampires with a special power (By vampire I actually mean blood sucking pixie) and shapeshifters (Wolves).

It is a far fetched book about a girl named Isabella (Bella) Swan of about of seventeen that falls in love in a whiny, controlling, pedophile, stalker by the name of Edward Cullen. That is all you need to know about that.

In New Moon Edward leaves Bella "to keep her safe" or some shit. She ends up falling for Jacob Black (The leader wolf man, guy, person, whatever) also. It's funny, though. She claims she loves Eddie but yet she falls in love with Jake. In New Moon Bella pretty much thinks she can hear Edward by doing idiotic and reckless things. Such like jumping off a cliff and almost drowning. And she complains about this "hole" in her chest through out the book. So on, Alice and Bella run off to Italy to find Mr. Ed, blah. He comes back and propose to Bella. However, she doesn't really give him an answer until like the end of Eclipse, or something.

Eclipse pissed me off. And they turned Bella into a horny bitch at the end. And turned Jacob into a pig. I have NOTHING to say about it, only that is sucks and you shouldn't read it.

Breaking Dawn was really corny. Bella ends up getting pregnant with Eddie's child. The Pregnancy went fast. Killing Bella slowly as it grows inside her, blah, blah. She thinks she will have a boy. Named EJ (Edward Jacob) but ends up as a girl. She names her a retarted name that sounds like a disease (Renesmee). Heres a trippy moment. Jacob imprints on her. He gives her the nickname Nessie. (The nickname for the Loch Ness Monster.) Some failed battle at the end with the Vultori. I believe only one person died. It was pretty stupid.

Yeah, these books are a waste of time. D: If you like them you obviously have horrible taste.

The Twilight Saga ~~~~

-Twilight-
Bella - Hi.
Edward - Hi... You smell very etible.
Bella - Thanks.
Edward - I watch you when you sleep.
Bella - How flattering.
Edward - I love you.
Bella - Cool, me too.
Edward - *Plays baseball*
James - You brought a snack! >:D
Edward - *Growls*
Bella - *Gets bitten*
Edward - NUUUEEEE! -Sucks venom out-
Bella - :D

-New Moon-
Edward - I'm leaving now
Bella - Bye. I'll just sit here and be useless for a while.
Edward - Cool.
(Months later.)
Jacob - *Turns into a wolf*
Bella - Huh?
Jacob - HYPOCRITE!
(Moments later)
Bella - Edward!!! No!!!!
Edward - Oh, look, we're both alive. Amazing.
Bella - Yup.
Edward - Marry me?
Bella - Nope.

-Eclipes-
Edward - I love you
Bella - I love you, but I love jacob, too.
Jacob - Rawr.
Edward - *Censored*?!

-Breaking Dawn-
Bella - *Marries Edward*
Edward - Score!!
Bella - *Get's pregnant*
Edward - OH NOE! D:
Jacob - Wtf?
Bella - *Has baby*
Jacob - *Inprintes on Renesmee-
Bella - *Turns into a vampire*
Edward - Woooooo! *Takes Bella hunting*
*Vorturi attacks*
Edward - D: *Takes Aros hand*
Aro - I see. We'll kill you now.
Bella - NUUUE!!!!!

THE END!

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