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discord mod

a no life pedo who has an OCD in abusing his powers

Day in the life of a discord mod

5am: get dressed
6am: open discord
10am: go outside
10:01am: review suggestions
3pm: breakfast
5pm: exercise
5:01pm: check on the server
4:55am: bed

meanwhile:

boy and e-girl: *joins*
mod: *bans boy in 0.00000000001 seconds*
mod: *automatically gives the 'DMs open' role*
mod: be gf or ban
gf: ok
mod: where do you live? what is yor name? how old?

person: *posts memes in general*
mod: say goodbye (?mute @person#1337 5d L bozo)

22 years later

Guinness World Record: Most people banned in Discord in a lifetime - 74637281746732847 - goes to Mod#420 (1996-2069)
Guinness World Record: Most girls dated in discord in a lifetime - 758345745738549323893 - goes to Mod#420

How to get into a Discord Mod's Account

You can't.

by Empress Kristi April 29, 2022


No Bra Day

October 13 - the day where girls do not wear bras

sniff sniff

(editor note: my personal favourite best day after 30 April - send nudes day)

No bra day? But I have PE… where we share changing rooms with boys…
shet

by Empress Kristi October 13, 2022


Reddit

heaven of memes and 95% of memes either come from here or are posted on here

"memes cured my depression" - a wise man on urban dictionary
"where do i get fresh memes?"
"reddit"
"WHAT DA FAK IS A SANIK~ i mean reddit"
"kys you have been living under a rock for the last 27 years"

by Empress Kristi May 12, 2022

2👍 1👎


youtuber

greedy ass people who have a massive fanbase of simps who, to this day are still trying to find their OnlyFans...

Jake Poo: OK, but before i do this experiment, I have to thank our sponsor, RAID SHADOW LEGENDs~
82 years later
Jake Poo: Now, 3, 2, 1...
*2x 20 second non-skippable ad plays*
Jake poo: 3, 2, 1... TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT FUN!

me: i hate youtubers *proceeds to throw pc out the window*
hobo: oh hell yeah! free pc! can you pass me the wi-fi router too?
me: *throws wifi*

by Empress Kristi April 28, 2022


Kim Jong-un

Ruler of North Korea that cried because birth rates in the country was falling.

Oh please, if Kim Jong-un had fed his country well enough then this definition wouldn't have been written right now.

by Empress Kristi December 30, 2023


Where do babies come from?

The worst and the most awkward question your child will ask you in your lifetime (if you were a parent)

Don't bother lying, they will find out eventually.

Stewie: Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma!
Lois: WHAT IS IT????????????????????
Stewie: hi
Lois: I will send you to jesus
Stewie: I was actually going to ask you something.
Lois: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees?
Stewie: Where do babies come from?
Lois: From a stork..
Stewie: Isn't the baby too big?
Lois: It's a magik stork!
Stewie: That doesn't make sense.
Lois: It does.
Stewie: *GASP* DADDY FUCKED MOM~
Lois: *kills Stewie*

by Empress Kristi April 15, 2022


Kim il-Sung

The first ruler of North Korea. Unlike his descendants he actually fed the people and tried to rebuild the country after the Korean War. It wasn't until Kim Jong-il came along that the country just descended into what it is now because he fucked up the whole country.

I can't believe people were forced to mourn after Kim il-Sung died.
mf he actually cared for his people, it wasn't forced mourning and people were genuinely sad, get your facts right

by Empress Kristi December 30, 2023