festicle

see scooter,fester. A form of human who can survive only on Dr. Skipper, 7-Eleven nachos and tri-tip. Commonly flanked by a pair of agressive, poorly trained dogs, festicles are often found sleeping on couches and drinking large amounts of ny-quil. Festicles are possibly best known for their ability to make large amounts of money disappear in a relatively short period of time at a roulette table.

There's a festicle sleeping on my couch again.

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