comfort food

Food eaten to relieve stress.

I'm eating a burger. That is my comfort food.

12👍 6👎

Friend

A person who gives you non-sexual pleasure to your satisfaction that has no actual reason to do so.

Tim: Wendy, we're just friends.

Wendy: We are just friends.

4👍 1👎

weed need

When you are stressed and must smoke marijuana to cope.

Guy 1: I'm having a weed need moment right now.

Guy 2: I'm way ahead of you, dude. I have the munchies right now.

feckless necklace

Jewelry a guys gives a woman to make up for doing her wrong romantically.

Here's a feckless necklace, honey. So let's just get past my refusing that activity.

wanket

A blanket, towel or other cloth a guy uses to masturbate, either for clean-up or sexual stimulation.

I had a wanket as early as 13-years-old.

4👍 1👎

sap clap

When a toadie praises someone in a position of power.

I don't need a sap clap every now and then. I just need the facts from someone with a backbone.

5-card thud

When you are dealt a great hand in poker, and you feel your heart thud as a consequence, whereby you must keep calm to give a good poker face and play effectively thereafter.

Guy's thoughts: "Don't look suspicious. I hope nobody could tell that I just had a 5-card thud there."