battleship

A euphemism for "bullshit."

I have to follow the rules? That's freakin' battleship.

spice

A sensation of moodiness.

I have spice before I drink my coffee.

sick tick

The duration of an illness.

I'm waiting for this sick tick to end.

the bitch card

Saying you're "a woman" as the excuse or sound reasoning for any behavior you, a woman, makes.

Man: I like these pants.

Woman: they fit too perfectly. I know, because I'm a woman.

Man: Playing the bitch card.

Woman: I know those socks are too white because I'm a woman, damn it. Get gray at the ends next time.

Man: So you know style because you're a woman and I do not because I'm a man?

Woman: Only a woman would understand.

8👍 2👎

bars

Cell phone reception.

I have no bars. Oh, well.

wood stood

An erection.

I have a wood stood. I'm ready.

hill pill

A drug that makes you high.

That was a hill pill. I feel like I'm on top of the world, and I don't see myself getting any more elated!