Simpers

A family name given to a man with a heart of gold. This name is used as the last name for someone who's a handyman, who loves the rush of a challenge, and who loves being with others. You might find Mr. Simpers constructing a squat rack out of nothing but wood, piecing together a potato cannon, or building a dog shed. Simpers will also partake in a large assortment of drinking; they have a tendency to enjoy fine whiskeys. He will enjoy the water; whether gazing over it, fishing while the sun rises, or rowing with his friends. Although extremely intelligent, Simpers will reject the idea of a "normalized education", advocating instead for a trade school or military service. He will be your best friend for life, and will always be there for you.

"You should always remind a Simpers to not release gas while cuddling with a date"

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