ho-ster

A place where loose women hide their pistols. The vagina.

Jim: "Comack McCarthy’s ex-wife did what?"
Bill: "She pulled a pistol out of her ho-ster because she was losing an argument about aliens."

Sid: "Are you packing?"
Jane: "Got one in the ho-ster."

3👍 7👎

skin toaster

A tanning bed.

Helga stopped popping herself into the skin toaster after the salon added the government's ten-percent tax. Now she feeds her melanoma outdoors.

Polish Salute

Shrugging the shoulders and raising the hands with palms to the sky to show you have no idea whatsoever about the topic at hand.

I asked Vlad where he parked the car, and he gave me a Polish salute.

43👍 15👎

sympathy fascist

Someone who tries to coax others into feeling the pain of those who probably deserve little or no empathy.

Bill: Those people shouldn't be cheering the death of Osama Bin Laden.

Fred: Give it a break you sympathy fascist.

2👍 3👎

chatter chalk

Cocaine

Hey man, quit blabbering. You on the chatter chalk again?

Ozzy Knob

A pitch adjustment knob on a mixing board used to bring out-of-tune singers back into key. Named for the heavy metal car wreck Ozzy Osbourne.

Sound Engineer. Jeez Bill, that sounded like someone strangling a sick cat.

Producer: Yeah, if she only sang as good as she looks.

Sound Engineer: Time for the Ozzy knob.

52👍 6👎

churned out

The state of being burned out from acting like you're working hard.

Larry: Where's that lazy bastard Nigel today?

Gerald: He took a sick day.

Larry: After all that faux activity in the past weeks, he must be churned out.

56👍 11👎