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Anchor

A large, heavy object dropped from a ship to prevent it from floating away. However, using anchors in the way they are intended to be used is just plain boring. Anchors are much more entertaining if they are dropped from the sky onto the head of someone you hate or generally dislike. In this sense, anchors are closely related to anvils and 16-ton weights. Though less common than its relatives, the anchor is favored by sadists for its broad, dull blade, which creates a spectacle that is generally much more gory than its broad-bottomed alternatives, which are known for creating simple splats or accordion effects.

Edgar hated John Doe. Edgar hated John Doe so much that dropping an anvil or weight on his head simply wouldn't suffice. So, Edgar dropped an anchor on John Doe. As a result, John Doe was splattered AND cleaved messily in half.

by Everbound Venvel February 6, 2009

56👍 28👎


Big Bang

The universe didn't explode out of nothing, stupid. Anyone with half a working brain can reason that the concept of "nothing" is a big fat lie. Scientific evidence points to the theory that the universe we live in is constantly expanding and contracting. In other words, the universe has quite possibly always existed. If you want to be deep and spiritual about it, you could say that the universe (and other universes, or just all of creation) is God Himself. Maybe. How would I know? Nobody knows.
ANYWAY, according to the Big Bang theory, in the "beginning" the universe, ALL of the universe, was a hyper-super-ultra-mega dense ball of stuff. It was SO freakin' dense, it burst and expanded. The universe will continue to expand until it can't anymore, at which point it will begin to contract upon itself, becoming more and more dense, until the whole process must repeat itself again. Forever and ever.

Everything has always existed, but in the "beginning" it was simply travel sized...Until the Big Bang happened.

by Everbound Venvel January 26, 2009

77👍 80👎


Zeromus

The Final Boss of Final Fantasy IV. He/it/they is/are the incarnation of hatred, risen from the corpse of Zemus. At first he/it/they appears as a blue, ghost-like entity, but transforms in to a hideous monstrosity, complete with hideous monster wang, in the final battle. His/its/their favorite attack is Big Bang, and that's terrible.

Zeromus returns as a summon in Final Fantasy XII and Final Fantasy Tactics A2.

During the battle with Zeromus, you need Rosa to heal your party after every Big Bang attack, or you'll wind up with a game over.

by Everbound Venvel January 25, 2009

16👍 5👎


Evolution

Wow, there are people who STILL deny the solid and obvious fact that is evolution? Well, I guess the condition of being sentient kind of subverts the "survival of the fittest" thing. This one dude, he married this lady, she was like 400 lbs...ANYWAY, the resulting child-thing, what with the combined genes of its parents, will a be new specimen added to humanity. A new specimen is different from other specimens, thus, genes are mixed & matched when this specimen procreates, leading to even more change within the human gene pool. Change adds up over time, thus, evolution. Even if it results in the downfall of mankind.
Now, let's go to wildlife. Wildlife does the evolution the right way. Why? Because if you're a morbidly obese sheep, you can't outrun that bear who's keen on eating you, and therefore you don't get to spread your fat ass genes. Sucks to be you. Now, on the other hand, if you're a sheep born with a slight genetic mutation that makes you physically stronger than most sheep, you're going to have a much better chance of outrunning that bear and living to spread your super genes. Very gradually, as more and more sheep with super genes and less and less sheep with fat ass genes mate, the sheep gene pool will be significantly swayed. As a result, a species of sheep who is better adapted to survive bear attacks will evolve. At the same time, bears will have evolved to be better equipped to take down sheep, since bears who could catch sheep were able to mate while bears who couldn't feed themselves didn't get to score. The process continues forever, until something catastrophic, like a meteor or urban development, wipes out a species faster than it can procreate.
That's evolution.

Waterbears can survive almost ANYTHING because only the toughest waterbears were able to mate frequently enough to have a profound effect on the genepool. This is a prime example of evolution.

by Everbound Venvel January 26, 2009

545👍 411👎