Road-Tard

A severe mental disorder where a driver on the road is oblivious to basic motor vehicle operations and rules of the road. This condition affects teenagers to seniors.

Symptoms: Random braking, new driver sign, new driver sign written so badly that it must have been made by kids in play school, cutting you off, staring straight, unable to execute a turn while staying in his/her lane, driving onto incoming traffic...

Side Effects: Causes other drivers on the road massive road rage as well as giving them the middle finger.

Bob: Oh my god that driver just stopped on the freeway with his signal light on trying to get on the off ramp.

John: Typical move by a Road-Tard!!!!

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Warp Speed Shit

The act of taking a shit so difficult that your vision starts to fade and you see stars much like the effect in Star Trek when the ship goes into warp speed. If you exceed a warp factor of ten that means your intestines just came out of your anus.

Picard: Where were you? You've been in the can for over an hour?

Riker: I had a warp speed shit.

Picard: Oh what factor?

Riker: Ten...Excuse me I have to go see the doctor now.

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