Webster Method

A method for getting rid of crabs. First, you must shave everything from your neck down to your knees except for one testicle. Wait for roughly 24 hours before starting the next phase. After completing that you will get a bucket of ice water, a strip of cellophane, lighter fluid, and a lighter. Wrap you penis in the cellophane and then apply the lighter fluid to the unshaven testicle. Straddle yourself over the bucket of water (have it decently close to your testicle) and ignite your testicle. After no more than 5 seconds you will squat down until your testicle is fully submerged and the fire is out. At this point remove the cellophane from your penis and check for any burns.

Excellent work, you are now crab free.

Guy 1: Hey man, I think this bitch gave me crabs the other night. You know any tricks to get rid of them?

Guy 2: Yes man, its simple. Just use the Webster Method.