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Term used most widely to define a female friend who is willing to hold your hair while you vomit. NOT to be confused with the best friend or BFF who will willingly hold your hair, purse or secrets while SOBER.
The Hurlfriend is usually just too drunk to know the difference and will likely regret her actions in the morning
Hey Cindy, thanks for helping a sister out last night - I was really messed up and well, without a Hurlfriend like you I could have messed up my weave....
No probs Tonesha, but don't ever call me again...I can't get your funk out of my Lee Press On's
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The sudden urge to urinate WHILE shopping with a buddy or while trying to get the key into the locked door of your home when you return from shopping so you can pee.
The Shopping sPee is usually experienced by women of a "certain age" that have had one or more children and is similar to the Sneeze Pee and Laughter Dribble.
It is recommended that women who experience ANY of the above cross their legs immediately, stand completely still and wait for the sensation to pass before running immediately to pee on the toilet seat.
You get the groceries out of the car! I have to stand here for a minute...I feel a shopping spee coming on!
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A breathalizer attached to your computer and or cell phone whose sole purpose is to prevent you from sending drunken emails and texts to your Ex!
OH MAN! I was so hammered last night I texted/emailed my ex boyfriend over a hundred times!
DAMN! You gotta get you one of them Textalizers!
The asshole who sits around the corner and waits until you completely clear your driveway and then fills it in with the blade of his plow.
These people don't sleep at night...and they likely play with dolls as a hobby...they don't call em flakes for nothing!
No example necessary - if you live in a climate where there is snow then you KNOW the Snow Plow Driver is EVIL
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The sudden exhaustion you feel when you realize the holidays are over and there are no long weekends til Easter.
1. You return to work in January after the Christmas break and are overwhelmed by volumes of work - it can be said that you are "Januweary"
2. You take down the dead Christmas tree and pack up the angels for another year and have to haul them out to the garage and climb the ladder to the loft but you are too weak - it can be said that you are "Januweary"
3. You wake up to find another 2 feet of snow in your driveway from the snowplow and your back is so sore from shoveling that you cannot move - it can be said that you are "Januweary"
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When a woman uses the urinal in a portable toilet rather than sitting on the fecal-filled black hole of death.
This brave act takes great dexterity - is not recommended for women over 300 pounds and should be attempted for urinating only as feces may cause clogging of said urinal
Anybody know where the bathroom is?
Yeah, see that blue thing over there...it's a Johnny on the Twat
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An unattractive lower abdominal section - usually found on women who have had 2 or more large babies. Also known as the "muffin top" or "roll".
The "abdomination" can be characterized as having a cottage cheese texture and or "jowls of the dog" appearance and is often accompanied by stretch marks. The only effective cure is a tummy tuck!
Did you see Lisa in that bikini?
Ya man - she has awesome legs but....her gut is an abdomination!
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