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(noun) Paddler, of any level, who loves the River and the river lifestyle.
Goes rafting, kayaking, canoeing, SUP, whatever! Swims like a fish, and loves rain as much as sun. May be broke in the pocket, but rich and giving in the soul. Speaks the universal language, that of the River, in any of the tongues of the Dirtbag Paddler World - which is all of them. Survives on whatever it takes to get that next WALLACE fix. Would throw a rope to anyone! If your car smells like your gear, or better yet if you HAVE no car, you're a dirtbag.
One Love, One River! -Dirtbag Paddler
In my opinion, being a dirtbag paddler is a much nobler pursuit than merely trading my hours for a handful of dimes.
WALLACE : verb (to WALLACE, Wallaced, Wallacing)
ON THE RIVER Wallace takes three forms:
1) Upwards Wallace - where the boat is flipped and dumps the entire crew (rafting)
2) Downward Wallace - where the swimmer(s) take an especially nasty deep swim (rafting)
3) Baby Wallace - A dirtbag lost his or her seat, paddle, or maybe a custy or two (rafting)
kayakers and C-1ers are Wallaced when they get worked in a hole, run over by a rubber pusher, get an epic beat down, and of course anytime they swim.
OFF THE RIVER:
Dirtbags are well known by their frequent slapping of beers and other precious articles (such as paperwork) from each other's hands. They take the same form as on the river, Downward: off the feet. Upward: off the face. The Baby Wallace is a slight bump of the arm that results in slight spillage, kind of like a warning shot... "Hey Dirtbag, pay attention!" with the added caveat that one must properly declare the Wallace by yelling "Wallace" during the act. (IF YOU DON'T DECLARE WALLACE WHILE BEGINNING THE ACT, YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE AND SUBJECT TO A PUNCH IN THE NOSE!)
And no crying or getting angry watching your Wallaced drink soak into the earth! Grab it and pound it out!!!
NOTE: highly frowned upon to WALLACE a full beverage. Large stack of paperwork... BONUS POINTS
WALLACE may also be used in lieu of the word BURN!, in it's declarative form.
Hey - Watch that kook get Wallaced in that hole!
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