beard shmear

The act of eating a girl out and she queefs out vaginal discharge (possibly solidified) and you proceed to dry off her vagina with your beard.

"What's that smell?"

"Last night I beard shmeared this fat bitch and I haven't washed it yet....I can taste it.."

shit griddle

Taking a massive fresh shit/dump on concrete or asphalt that has been sitting in the hot sun.

"Isaac thought it would be a nice day for a steamy shit griddle."