Random
Source Code
Random
Or lightnin' bitch. Irish expression for a woman who is truly impossible, vile, sniping and otherwise waaay beyond disagreeable.
She left him outside the locked door in the rain for four hours because she wanted to clip her nails then screamed at him because on top of the other groceries, which were drenched, he'd forgotten to bring home the custard powder. What a lightning bitch.
9π 4π
1. Fourth planet from the Sun. Diameter 4,220 miles. Called the Red Planet from its colour as seen through a telescope; colour varies from butterscotch to dark brown. Much of this is from iron oxide (rust) in surface rocks. Surface gravity 38 percent that on Earth, about the same as Mercury, an effect jointly of Mars' larger size and lower density. The least dense of the rocky terrestrial planets in the system. One tenth of Earth's mass. Atmosphere mostly carbon dioxide, surface pressure varies by location and season between about 5 and 7 millibars. Surface features include Mariner Valley, a canyon system that would stretch across the United States on Earth, and four large shield volcanoes on the highland area known as the Tharsis Bulge, the largest of which is Olympus Mons, the largest mountain on any major planet in the system, three times the height of Everest and covering an area about the size of Romania. Has been visited by numerous space probes, including the Viking landers, the Sojourner rover and the Spirit and Opportunity Rovers. Currently being orbited by the Odyssey, Express and Reconnaissance Orbiters, making it the planet with the most artificial satellites beyond Earth. Although the surface is almost certainly sterile, Mars has often been imagined as an abode of life, appearing as such in works by, among others, C.S. Lewis, H.G. Wells and Edgar Rice Burroughs. There is some evidence of liquid surface water in its early history, although the atmosphere has grown too thin to allow this any more. Appears in some ways earthlike, with dust storms (especially at perihelion passage, the closest passage to the sun), growing and shrinking (largely carbon dioxide) ice caps and even, at 24 hours and 40 minutes, the most earthlike length of day of any other planet in this system. Two moons, Phobos and Deimos, both asteroids, circle the planet, the former the lowest-orbiting moon of any major planet in the system and set to run smack into Mars in about another 40 million Earth years.
2. The fourth planet's namesake, the ancient Roman god of war. Bit of a meathead, but then it was his job. Had an affair with Venus ... well, who wouldn't? Greek equivalent was Ares.
3. Chunky nougat-caramel-chocolate bar, or the company that makes them.
In the previous few months, Mars had been getting brighter in the night sky.
Oh Mars, let my armies surround those of my enemy Calipurnius and righteously whup his ass.
Got a Mars Bar?
50π 19π
Now a minor motion picture: a blurb I have yet to see on a book cover. Have you?
How to Rationalise Telling Sam She was Akin to a Dead Mouse in a Latrine in Swahili, by R.A.K. Martin-Smythe. Now a minor motion picture from the Confrere Brothers.
8π 13π
Long-bearded earthy worldly wise simple genius invented by cartoonist R. Crumb. The only man in history (according to one cartoon) to get a new lease on life when, once he had died, God asked him what he thought of Paradise and his scrupulously honest aesthetic appraisal of the whole place pissed off the Big Man big time. Best known for such catch phrases as "Keep Truckin'".
Mr. Natural, the coolest beardy dude in history, even makes sandals look good.
10π 8π
Someone's girlfriend who is (either literally or metaphorically) a cow.
John's going out with Belinda, his four-tits, tonight. He really would be better off with a Charolais.
5π 2π
Timeless comedy series made with UK money and filmed largely on location in north County Clare in the west of Ireland. Exterior shots of the main characters' house were near Mullaughmore in the Burren; other locations included the northwestern Burren coast towards Black Head and the villages of Ennistymon, Doolin and Corofin.
The setting is a remote, very four-square parish house in a field on the remote and fictitious Craggy Island, off the west coast. Main characters were Father Ted Crilly (Dermot Morgan), a relatively normal character with a certain proprietorial interest in parish funds: Father Dougal Maguire (Ardal O'Hanlon), the youngest priest, a complete imbecile: Father Jack Hackett (Frank Kelly), an old senile priest whose entire head once went septic and with a passion for alcohol, whose catch-phrases were DRINK!!!, GIRLS!!!, FECK!!! and ARSE!!! (occasionally enlivened with something more coherent): and their long suffering, self-effacing housemaid Mrs. Doyle (Pauline McLynn), with her catch-phrase when offering tea or biscuits, "ahh willya go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on!", and her pastime of falling out of the front window.
Various guest stars included Tommy Tiernan, Graham Norton and Brendan Grace. The most classic episode was probably "The Plague" (of rabbits), ending in that kind of comic epiphany that a comedian, with boundless talent and more than a sprinkling of luck, might just about manage once in a lifetime.
Ran to three seasons, cut short by the tragic loss of Morgan from a heart attack. He left us too early. We shall not see his like again.
Lines from Father Ted:
"Go back to sleep, Your Grace. It's just a bad dream you're having." (From "The Plague"; I'll say no more.)
(After they have picked up the wrong very very very hairy priest from the old priest's home, commenting on the hair). Ted: "I never thought I'd see a Stage 12 before."
Ted: "You see, Tom, I think you were mistaken. When I said "take care of" the rabbits, I was thinking in a Julie Andrews kind of way. I now realise you thought I meant it in sort of an Al Pacino way. I think we'll just ... RUN, DOUGAL, RUN!!!"
Mrs. Doyle (looking beady-eyed at a shopping centre staff member over the top of a state-of-the-art gizmo that he has just told her can "take all the misery out of making tea"): "Maybe I LIKE the misery!"
40π 11π
Either this manifesto's dead or my watch has stopped.
What a nice idea at first sight and all that. Marxism Schmarxism.
125π 101π