Zaphod Clause

Important precondition for attaining the role of chief of the executive wing of government, not least in the United States. More or less quote/unquote, "You can't become President with an entire brain." From the movie of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Al Gore and John Kerry almost made it, but they were both scuppered by the Zaphod Clause.

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damn with faint praise

To imply condemnation of someone by praising them for utterly unimportant details. From Alexander Pope's Epistle to Doctor Arbuthnot (1733): "Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer, and, without sneering, teach the rest to sneer."

Damn with faint praise:

One thing you can say for the force that invaded Iraq, at least they kept their uniforms clean.

Among statesmen of the twentieth century, Joseph Stalin truly and undeniably knew how to trim his moustache.

The Creationist propaganda movie was recorded on what were physically some of the finest rolls of film I've ever watched. As for the arguments and evidence recorded on them, well ...,

From Batman (1989):
On the other hand he had a tremendous singing voice.

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lesbian

A woman with enough good taste not to be interested in guys.

That's lesbians for ya. Ladies with taste.

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Republican

1. In Ireland, someone who wants the Six Counties back. Typically votes for Sinn Fein, although in the 26-county republic the centre-right majority party Fianna Fail have tried to steal the mantle.

2. In general, someone who supports democracy and dislikes monarchies, even as figureheads.

3. In the United States, someone who screams about persecution of a minority when the minority is very rich and the "persecution" comes in the form of taxation. The symbol is an elephant, presumably because the trunk hoovers up all the money. Someone who is staunchly pro-life ... at least if the life in question can afford a good lawyer. Will fight the terrorists du jour with every nigger/spic/piece of poor white trash they can scoop off the streets, but not themselves and not with their Johnny. You don't have to be an imbecile to be a Republican, but it certainly helps. Living proof of the falsity of their own cherished belief in the pseudoscience of Creationism. You'd think that in three billion seconds, never mind three billion years, God would have gotten it right.

I'm a Republican! Long live the 32-county republic!

I'm a Republican! Down with the Queen!

I'm a Republican, thank God! Where's my next trillion bucks gonna come from?

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Art

1) When beauty, complexity, philosophy, genius and sensuality all have a gang bang together, this misbegotten but wondrous creation ensues.

2) What Jack Nicholson makes until someone dies.

3) Something that turns up in eXistenZ, when Willem Dafoe mentions a video games called ArtGod, as in "ThouArtGod".

Art. Who could ask for anything more?

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psychic-recursive gene

The gene responsible for making some people believe that anything from homosexuality to kleptomania can be tied to a single gene.

He says he's found a gay gene, an anti-social gene, a literary gene and a deep-sea exploration-promoting gene. I guess his psychic-recursive gene is working overtime.

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Tom Cruise

I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh). Hey, have you seen my girlfriend? (BOINNNGGG!!) I'm wild! You're cool, too! (Pulls hair out, laughs.) No, seriously? Oh. (Grows sullen.) Oh. (Grows REALLY sullen.) Oh. Why would you want to do that to me? No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me? Why? Why? Why would you want to do that to me? (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.) They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones. (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,) We're all going to be bigger than Oprah! (YAY!) And it makes me sick, you know that? Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW? And you know what? I'm NOT GAY!!! Mimi! Ha! Nicole! Ha! Penelope! Ha! Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!! Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa! Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously. Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)

The above was a party political broadcast on behalf of Tom Cruise.

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