lazy bonesitius

A disability common amongst people who refuse to return their shopping cart to the cart corral.

”How dare you accuse me of having Lazy Bonesitius!?!?”

-Person too lazy to return their shopping cart to the proper location.

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Beer Advocate

Nazi Germany for the Craft Beer community... be careful what you say there... their mods will edit it to make you look like a jerk if they don’t agree with it.

I once posted a 2020 Forum on Beer Advocate at 11:59pm on Dec 31, 2019, and they deleted it because “it’s not 2020 yet...” I complain and they edit my complaint and ban me... seriously the Nazis of Craft Beer!

Community Standards

The official constitution of Nazi Germany… and also Facebook. A set of secret rules, enforced by bots, and meant to censor people, um I mean maintain a safe environment for all.

You’ve violated Facebook’s Community Standards! You are hereby under arrest and sentenced to 30 days in prison!

Bumpdate

The quickest way to get me to unfollow you; when a pregnant woman constantly posts about her pregnancy on Facebook.

Also a good indicator that the offending will likely become one of those moms who posts endless photos of her baby... and only endless photos of her baby after it is born.

***I’m friends with Stacey on Facebook***

Stacey: “Here is my Week 18 Bumpdate! This week, my baby is the size of an apple!”

Me: ***immediately unfollows Stacey***

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Beeriod

A man's time of the month. It occurs during the man's wife/girlfriend's period, when the man needs to constantly drink beer to cope with significant other's PMS.

Man 1: I'll have another pint of Pliny the Elder

Man 2: This is your fifth pint; don't you think you've had enough.

Man 1: Usually, but it's my wife's time of the month, so I'm on my Beeriod

Man 2: Oh shit! This one's on the house man!

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Mutual Aid

Basically a softer way of asking for money. Panhandling, usually done digitally and by people who aren’t actually impoverished.

“Hey! My rent is due tomorrow, but I don’t get paid until Friday. Would you be willing to contribute a little mutual aid? Drinks on me after I get paid!”

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Raising Cane's

Where Christians eat on Sunday's because Chick-Fil-A is closed.

Christian 1: Dude, let's go get some chicken after church!
Christian 2: We can't. Remember, it's Sunday; Chick-Fil-A is closed.
Christian 1: No, it's all good! We can go to Raising Cane's.
Christian 2: Oh yeah! Praise Jesus!

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