Smartphone

The latest "must-have" gadget in the infinitely expanding world of pointless, over-priced gadgets. It has been scientifically proven that simply owning a Smartphone will improve your quality of life by 300%. Failure to purchase a Smartphone may result in the development of a condition known as "Having a mind of your own."

As of yet, the only recorded treatment for this condition is a regular, strong dosage of media bullshit.

Media: "Buy this new Smartphone and a whole new world of possibilities will open up to you!"

Mainstream Sucker: "OMG. I just gotta have that. Now I can update my Facebook status anywhere!"

OR

Pretentious Fucker: *In A Nightclub* "Hey, my Smartphone is dead. Can I borrow yours to update my Facebook on how much fun I'm having?"

Smartperson: "No. I don't have a Smartphone. I have a D500..."

Pretentious Fucker: *Leaves Nightclub And Is Consequently Stabbed And Smartphone Stolen*

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