Falsepoop [Noun]

Falsepoops are both a feeling and a phenomena. They may present themselves as sharts or disguise themselves as megashits. But these are merely squeakers that cause the discomfort prompting you to take siege of the porcelain throne. When you do finally sit down and force that motherfucker out; you may produce a marble, or nothing at all. What you have here sir or madam, is a falsepoop.

Falsepoop Noun "There I sat so broken hearted, but twas falsepoop; I had and just barely sharted."

Person 1: Man, I can't believe I sat on the toilet for 3 minutes, missing my show for a false poop.
Person 2: I held my false poop in, I looked kinda dumb for a minute, but I'm good.
Person 3: Hold on, I think I'm having a false poop right now, nope I'm sharting.

Person 4: How is this not a crazy shitstorm right now, all of this pushing over a false poop?