Turtle-Baiter

The act of masturbating whilst your busting for a shit so bad it's "Turtle Necking" out of your asshole

"Mate, Gary said he had a Turtle-Baiter in bed last night and he got some on the sheets"

The Switch

When a straight male masturbates to gay porn but when he ejaculates he switches to a saved picture of a female.

"Adam was concerned all that gay porn he watches is making him gay, so I told him about The Switch and now his post nut clarity is less intense"