Franklin Lakes

Franklin Lakes, New Jersey: Like no other. ;)

You Know You’re From Franklin Lakes When...

-75 percent of your grocery shopping is done at the Market Basket.
-If you're Catholic...you go to MBS but only on the big holidays.
-You own 3 cars, at least one is an Escalade/Hummer.
-Your house has 7 bedrooms, but your family consists of only three people.
-You live in a McMansion.
-Your garage is bigger than normal people's houses.
-You have a pool that’s never used because you don't spend your summers in Franklin Lakes.
-You probably have more than one house (Vermont, Florida, Jersey Shore.)
-The Sweet 16’s on “My Super Sweet 16” don’t even compare to yours.
-You have a work out room and a library in your house that you don’t use.
-You had Ms. Wulster for Gym.
-You got really excited that Franklin Lakes got a Dunkin' Donuts
...but at the same time you think it’s crap we don't have a Starbucks and Wyckoff does.
-You watch shows like Laguna Beach and don't understand what's so crazy about people having so much money.
-When you turn 16 your parents will get your “okay to crash” car like a Mercedes or BMW but not to worry, you’ll get that Lamborghini or Ferrari for your 21st birthday.
-Know there is a definitive rich section and “not so rich” (aka not rich for Franklin Lakes but not close to the poverty line either) section of Franklin Lakes.
-You never set foot in the Franklin Lakes library.
-If you go to FAMS you think it’s cool to hang out at Dunkin Donuts or Subway.
-If you went to FAMS and see the kids at Dunkin Donuts/Subway--you think they're the biggest losers in the world.
-You know that FAMS used to be called FAGS (Franklin Avenue Grammar School.)
-The gas attendant at the Citgo has hit on you.
-You own a Tommy Cheng shirt.
-The “poor kid’s” dads are just doctors and lawyers pshaw, they can’t compare to your C.E.O. dad.
-You know the guy at the Quick Shop by his first name---(NJ for those who don't)
-You know the difference between those who chose to go to Hills and those who chose to go to Ramapo.
-You've been asked "how big is your house" from people from other towns.
-You have a Spanish maid and you probably don't know her name.
-Your landscapers hit on you even though they don’t speak English.
-You have a membership to Indian Trail Club and/or Shadow Lake.
-You get your jollies from telling people that Kelly Ripa, Keith VanHorn, that big giant guy from the movies, and Phil Simms live/lived in your town.
-You own atleast 12 Coach, Luis Vuitton, Chanel Prada, Kate Spade, Gucci bags, etc.
-Your closet consists of Juicy Couture, Bebe, and Lacoste.
-You go tanning every other day to the point of being orange.
-Your mom is addicted to Botox and liposuction.
-Your mom thinks she’s some hot shit wearing her little Abercrombie and Fitch outfits.
-You know everyone that works in Market Basket, Elegant Nails, and Indian Trail Club.
-You know who Dr. Klinger was.
-You know that Ramapo is really in Franklin Lakes and thinks Wyckoff should get their own damn high school.
-You know that Mrs. Scott slept under her desk between classes..
-If you went to HMR you had Mrs. Garber and wondered how she walked in those crazy outfits and heels and how she wrote with those 7 inch nails.
-You know that Mrs. Prunk was Miss Mulvaney.
-Your dog has its own personal trainer.
-You transferred from MBS to FAMS or vice versa..
-You have an elevator in your house.
-You couldn’t wait till fifth grade when you could finally ride in the back of the bus.
-You know who to get your weed from in Ramapo.
-You’ve been buying alcohol underage since you were twelve.
-You have had your own chauffer/nanny/caretaker since you were little because your parents are never home.
-You know that the Wyckoff kids are just wannabes.
-You know that everyone just wishes they were from Flaker Town.

"Yo, Yofwanda did you hear about that party in Franklin Lakes at the 80,000 square foot house?"
"Yeah, Sha-neigh-neigh. Too bad we live in Paterson and can't go."
"I hate Flaker Towners."
"You say it, homegirl."

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