Couch cock

Couch cock mysteriously happens when you wake up too early in the morning, crawl out of bed and fall back asleep on the couch before morning wood can take effect. Then later waking up on the couch with a full-blown hard on stuck between the couch cushions

Tina I don't know what to do about Barry . He said he couldn't sleep last night and he got up and went downstairs for a drink and fell asleep on the couch and I woke him up this morning to find his walrus tusk stuck between the couch cushions again... I don't know how much longer the cat and I can deal with his damn couch cock. It's making a mess out of the upholstery...

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Cactus fuck

Cactus fuck is when a girl or guy or possibly both has forgotten to shave their pubic / public hair after it has come to a stubble and yet still decide to place ones floppy nugget / penis into the others corn hole or meat cove / b hole-vagina and the hair stubble feels like cactus quills on your cock resulting in the loss of skin and blood yet still some how fun.

Hey Becky did you see the way that Steven is walking today? Hilda told me that she snuck the old Cactus fuck in on Steve last night. His juicer must look like the inside of a Iraqis car after a firefight.. she told me that when they woke up in the morning his cock was glued to the bed sheets with blood. Ewwwwaaahhh

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