Booze blanket

When you don't need a jacket because you're drunk.

I'm so drunk I don't need your stupid jacket. I'm wearing my booze blanket.

Mississippi Moment

Used as a measure of time. Similar to a New York Minute but instead of being an instant, a Mississippi Moment can be anywhere from 15 minutes to 5 hours.

The term comes from how slow Mississippi residents are in the head. It takes them forever to figure out how to do even the simplest task. Not only are they dumb, but they also can't move fast because their fat rolls are in the way of their feet...and eyes.

If you didn't know Mississippi has been voted one of the top dumbest states and has been the fattest state in the U.S. for three years straight now.

John: "Hey man can you come pick me up? I'm only 20 minutes from your house."

Jim Bob: "Sure man, ill be there in a Mississippi Moment."

John: "Thanks man!"

(4 hours later)

John: "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!?!"

Jim Bob: "Home."

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