Autograph session

The process of trying to get oneself clean after a shit that leaves your butthole agape. Most common after a dropping a deuce with the consistency of Georgia Red Clay.

Why were you in the bathroom so long?" "I was actually done pretty quick, but then it turned into an autograph session when I was wiping my ass. I still don't feel clean...I just know my butt's going to be itchy later.

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Going green

When you attempt to smash a beer can off someone’s head in order to make it smaller for recycling. Funnier when the can doesn’t crush, and you just knock them silly and put a ring on their forehead.

“Megan just hit me in the head with a beer can and declared she was ‘going green’!”

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