jack daniels

The only friend a sad person can get, a drink to consume alone when you need to breakdown in tears, expectably the whole bottle instead of an only glass.

Sad man: Jack, you really are my only and last friend... *sigh*
Jack Daniels: Come here I'll hug you! You can cry on my shoulder. Yes, that's it! Here you go!

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I'm here for the badger

An excuse Gord (played by Tom Green) says to a security guard when he enters a building.
See also Japan four, Freddy got fingered

Security Guard: Excuse me can I help you?
Gord: Uh... Yeah I'm here for the badger.
Security Guard: For the badger?
Gord: For the badger!

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