Wet Malfoy

When you grease your partner’s pubes with hair oil so that they look like Malfoy from Harry Potter’s hair; then you fuck.

Boyfriend: you down for a wet Malfoy?
Girlfriend: what’s that?
Boyfriend: you’ll see

Westwind Shit

A colossal shit left in the toilet due to lack of flushing power provided by the toilet in question. Typically football sized- highly respected and valued among young adults and elderly alike. Originates from the high volume of colossal shits placed in the Camp Westwind restrooms.

“That’s a Westwind Shit right there”

Triple timer

When you say something three times about someone or call someone an insult thrice, it becomes true, but only if you truly mean the insult or name with all of your heart.

Friend 1: you don’t know how to find square root? Are you retarded or something?
Friend 2: don’t use the triple timer or it might be true!

Glumping

Accusing someone of being homosexual after strongly hinting at having homosexual tendencies yourself.

Dude 1: Wanna see my dick?

Dude 2: No, but that guy's ass is lookin hella phat on god.

Dude 1: Bruh that's kinda gay.

Dude 2: Wtf bro stop glumping.

Coming home from trumpet practice

An event that never takes place because anyone who participates in the practice of playing a trumpet would not ever want to leave due to the high levels of enjoyability.

Friend 1: so I was coming home from trumpet practice...
Friend 2: stop lying man, I know you don’t play trumpet. Anyone who did wouldn’t just “come home from trumpet practice”

Clawscale

A ranking system hugely popular among teenage boys. Used to define the attractiveness of a female by stating how many White Claws you would need to consume in order to have sex with her.

Dude, she kinda bhad but idk..

Yea that’s like a 7 or 8 on the Clawscale for me man

Cap

A term used to ask for a lid full of someone’s drink. Often used for soda, or Gatorade. As long as it’s got a bottle with a cap that can have liquid poured into it, asking for cap is fair game.

Friend 1: bro this Dr. Pepper is so nice on such a hot day
Friend 2: let me get some cap homie
Friend 1: aight bet, but just this once

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