agricultural american

An individual working in the agricultural/livestock industry, such as a farmer or rancher; the offspring/immediate family of such; a politically-correct term for 'redneck'.

Dude 1: Damn, son, that new girlfriend of yours really likes diesel trucks, eh?

Dude 2: Yeah, she's a real Agricultural American

hands up don't shoot

The rallying cry of protestors trying to paint a criminal as an innocent victim.

Lindsay: There was a hands up don't shoot rally over in Mt Vernon last night
Keith: Yeah, I saw. A bunch of hipsters and gangbangers finally found some common ground
Lindsay: There was a shooting. One of the protestors shot another.
Keith: Does that mean there's going to be another rally tomorrow?
Lindsay: No, the guy who got shot was white

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dotcom baby

The offspring of parents who met on a dating site

Deborah and Stan met on Match.com. They kept it a secret at first, but a year later, Michael was born - the family's first dotcom baby.

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Toy Job

A job one keeps not out of need, but out of boredom/personal amusement. Generally, these aren't high-paying, high-stress positions, and are usually held by people with existing financial stability

I got so bored last summer, sitting on the yacht all day long, that I got myself a toy job giving lap dances over at Tootsies. The pay's not great, but the freebies and gossip make it worth it.

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Workhorse Drink

A simple, basic, alcoholic beverage which one drinks in between rounds of shots, or more exotic libations which may be served at a party or event.

Sam: Yo Dave, whatcha got there?
Dave: Sam Adams. It's my workhorse drink. Can't just keep doing shots of vodka like you boys.

smiling behind the wheel

To masturbate while driving

Dave: Yo, where's Lance?

Jason: He got caught smiling behind the wheel. Might be looking at a public indecency charge.

Tetsuo: Dang yo!

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organic strange

An extra-marital sexual experience provided by a non-professional. To be distinguished from inorganic strange, which must be provided by a sex-worker.

Tim: I got some organic strange while I was in Chicago over the weekend.
Tom: Damn, dude, where'd you find that?
Tim: Tinder