UC-Berkeley

AKA Cal. Known for liberal politics and perfect campus location. What the hell is in Palo Alto anyway? Stanford party scene my ass. The typical Stanford party: eat a bag of Milano cookies and stay up till the tonight show. You are hella weak. Also Berkeley was rated #1 public school in the nation...AGAIN. Stanford, what can I say, not good enough for the Ivy Leaguers not tight enough for the bay. That must suck.

ME: Sweet! I got into UC-Berkeley!

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