Selinsgrove

Also known as a shithole.. Selinsgrove is full of douchebags who think that because there is a large amount of Arab doctors that live in the outskirts, they are all awesome and rich. Kept open by the thousands of obese people, the fast food joints on The Strip are the main point of entertainment for these people. The high school smells of cow shit and grease, thanks to the students walking in it. The sports teams in this school district usually have decent records, but it has been discovered that if a student (or adult, as majority of the "players" are) plays a sport here, particuarly football, the distrct will buy their family a large cow to get their daily dosage of milk and meat from. Other than the fast food places, for entertainment, residents enjoy going to Selinsgrove Speedway (or Spedway, called by out of townies) to watch cars race, get drunk, get beaten by husband/wife, and then get arrested for domestic disputes.

Selinsgrove resident: Did ya heer that if we play a sport we git a cow?
Selinsgrove resident 2: Yeh, but I perfer riding my jackass to the Selinsgrove Speedway.
Selinsgrove resident 3: Meebe I will join the basketball team and contribute to another losing season.

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