Beat my meat

The act of masturbation but in different words to supposedly make the word sound less weird or awkward

Friend: Hey dude, watcha doin' up at 3:00am in the morning?
Other Guy: I'm up to beat my meat
Friend: Haha, yeahh....

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Ligma

The joke term that is used to fool people by saying "Ligma" as in a medical term or any kind of term that is suppose to mean: "Lick my"

Guy: Hey dude, your doctor called me, and he told me you have ligma, i'm so sorry
Friend: My doctor? wait, what's Ligma?
Guy: Ligma balls