Monkey on a Stick

aka Nothing. Like when you go to the midway at the local fair and spend $50 on cheesy games and all you end up walking away with is a stupid plastic monkey on a stick.

Evan: Dude, how'd it go with the redhead last night?
Art: Dude, it sucked. I got Monkey on a Stick.
Evan: You were robbed dude. You were buying her drinks all night!

14👍 47👎

Chocolate Cufflink

The byproduct of a careless wipe. After having a shit, if you forget to roll up the sleeve of your wiping arm, you inadvertently smear shit on the cuff of your shirt while wiping your ass.

Evan: Dude, was that a good shit or what?
Art: How'd you know I just dumped a load?
Evan: You've got a fresh chocolate cufflink on you're right arm. Go change your shirt!

10👍 1👎

bag weld

The condition, when somewhat sweaty, where your scrotum adheres to your inner thigh. A precursor to ball soup.

Art is hopping around rearranging his junk.
Evan:"Dude, what's the matter? You got crabs?"
Art: "No man, it's so hot I've got bag weld!"

10👍 3👎

g-string cling

The condition where the string of your thong wedges itself firmly in your butt crack. Common when a large woman is wearing a size "small" thong.

Art: "Dude, check out that fat whore over there yanking on her underwear!"
Evan: "Dude, she's got a bad case of g-string cling! Throw her the needle-nosed pliers!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!

31👍 12👎

Nail bomb

Act of having diarrhea so badly that the entire inside of the toilet is spray painted with excrement.

Art runs screaming from the bathroom, cursing at Evan.

Evan: Dude, calm down, what's your issue?

Art: DUDE, if you're gonna' have a nail bomb in my toilet, at least give a second flush! My cleaning lady doesn't come until Friday!

10👍 2👎

BFI

Bed For Indigents

Evan: "Dude, I was passing by that laneway by the Mr. Lube, and some homeless guy crawled out of the dumpster, all stank and nasty! I think he slept in there!"
Art: "Dude, of course, that's a BFI!"

29👍 23👎

maxi-pad

An apartment or house that has been tricked out like on "CRIBS".

Art: "Dude, you were over at Gilly's place last night, is it really the Maxi-pad he says it is?"
Evan: "Dude, it's whack! He could play baseball in his bathroom and has a hot tub big enough for 10 people plus one!"

12👍 18👎