Crane Sergeant

One who must have left the army at the rank of sergeant major after single handedly detaining Noriega and become a crane operator with the army corps of engineers. In order to earn this prestigious title one must also “enjoy the taste of granny punani” and be pleased by getting “gummed”. Crane sergeant’s daily duties involve watching Judge Joe Brown, making multiple failed attempts at logging on a computer, drinking 3 cases of Mountain Dew from a foam and only a foam cup, eating pastry cakes, smoke 3 cigars, and occasionally running a crane. The Crane Sergeant usually bails at noon on the last day of the work week and sends terrible terrible GIF’s in group texts. In his off time he enjoys Miller light outside the holiday inn and closes out the night licking the truffle butter off grandma and blowing his load while receiving a blumpkin. No matter what anyone says he is our theodore

The Crane Sergeant told the repairmen how “she gummed me”!

“Listen Bitch” exclaimed the Crane Sergeant to the college girls rescued in Panama, “it ain’t gunna suck itself”

When asked if he wanted a Busch Light, the Crane Sergeant replied “I don’t drink Busch Light Bitch, I drink Miller Lite”