November 3

National asshole day. It’s a day when everyone can be an asshole to anyone.

Johnny: sure you asshole
Jimmy: what’s your problem dude?
Johnny: it’s November 3, National asshole day.

Masturbate

The only reason I wish I didn’t have a dick

Me: Hey Timmy, I just masturbated to my wall.

Timmy: Good for you.

Gammy

A good looking person who is also kind and will do anything to achieve his goals. Once you meet him you will immediately fall in love (just kidding) but if you meet him he’ll make sure to always make you happy sometimes... he is the most badass, cool and caring person ever!

Jimmy: who’s your new friend John?

John: my new friend’s name is gammy and he’s freaking awesome! he just bought me an ice cream.

Jimmy: aw man I wish I had a friend like gammy.

Porn

Stupid website. if you watch porn, you’ll regret it soon.

Me: Yo buddy, I just watched porn.
Friend: Fuck you.