Newarker

A Newarker is a person who is from Newark, in Nottinghamshire England. Newark has one of the highest incest rates in Europe, and if you're from Newark you're likely to be a gypsy or a youth-clubber. An outbreak of fungus recently hit the town in March '06. Leaving one 16 year old boy devastated, he described the situation as "very, very bad", although his beloved warhammer helped him through this hard time, his friends were also upset at the outbreak, describing the 16 year old who cannot be named for legal reasons "a fun guy". Newarkers are easily amused, the local stadium "the youth club arena" saw a record crowd of 34,564 to see a cat play with a ball of string. The other 45,785 residents of Newark were at home shagging their sisters.

Newarker: Hi, i have fungus
Other Newarker: That sucks, lets go bum youth club
Other other Newarker: Hi, im not meant to be here, im meant to be at home shagging my sister

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