Sexual Atheism

The belief that you will never get laid.

John: Man, I have no girlfriend or any ability to talk to women. I'm 27 and I'm still a virgin.
Dave: That sucks. Have you tried everything?
John: Yeah, I just can't get laid no matter what. I think I'll convert to Sexual Atheism.

4👍 1👎

the Babel fish

The Babel Fish (from Hitchiker's guide to the galaxy) is a small yellow fish you put in your ear to translate other languages. It swims through your ear canal into your brain, where instead of feeding off of your brain, it does something incredible. It actually feeds off of other's brain waves and converts them into coherent thoughts of your language. Contrary to popular belief, you cannot watch foreign language films or read foreign text, even with the babel fish, since it only converts from active brainwave that are in the same room as you, not a language that's been recorded or from the written word.

- Person 1: "Golly jee wilkers! I can understand all the languages with the Babel Fish! I should use this in Chinese class!"
- Person 2: "It still won't help you ace your written Chinese exams."
- Person 1: "Aw."

19👍 1👎