gramps champ

The overly slow and cautious driver, usually elderly but not necessarily, who manages to stay in front of you in traffic. They turn where you want to turn, exit where you want to exit, and go into the same parking lot you're heading for, and so they are always in the lead. You have trouble passing them because there's only one lane or else traffic volume is just too busy. So much to your frustration, you remain in second place while they undeservingly take the checkered flag!

Jack: "How come you're so late? The movie's about to start!"

Danny: "I was rushing, but I got stuck behind two or three gramps champs on the way here! It was so annoying!"

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meal Nazi

n. A person, usually a parent or older relative, who incessantly berates you during a meal about how skinny you're getting and how you need to eat more. They typically tell you what dishes on the table you should be selecting from, and they will characteristically even place food on your plate despite much protest on your part. Because they have taken away your freedom to eat in peace and to select food of your own choosing, they have killed what would otherwise be viewed as a pleasurable dining experience. (Note: meal Nazi has no direct connection with the more familiar term, "soup Nazi".)

"I hate it when Aunt Agatha comes over for dinner. She's always putting a drumstick or a pork chop on my plate. I know she means well, but come on, I'm 16 years old! Just back off, meal Nazi!"

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sidetalk

Quiet conversation that takes place between people who are sitting beside each other during some kind of committee meeting or official gathering. When enough goes on, and as sound grows exponentially, it can be loud enough to distract the chairperson or whoever is speaking, as well as annoy those who want to carry the meeting's agenda forward.

During the meeting, the mayor became so frustrated with all the sidetalk going on between the city councillors, she finally yelled, "Can you all pay attention to what I'm saying for just a second?!?"

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dumtard

A combination of "dumb" and "retard". Very similar to "tard" and "f***tard" commonly in use today. The beauty of this term, however, is that it avoids slandering those who are truly mentally retarded and doesn't come across as being overly vulgar and offensive. Best used when someone has shown a momentary lack of intelligence and reasoning in offending you in some way.

Bob: "That guy just cut me off AND he's driving slower than me! Man, some people!"
Larry: "What a f***tard!"
Bob: "Well, maybe so if he did it on purpose. For now, I just think the guy's a dumtard."
Larry: "Suit yourself."

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clap abortion

The attempt to clap in applause at some event but very few people, if any, follow your lead. This can also apply to the related scenario when one tries to lead out in a clapping rhythm at some musical event or figure skating competition but also fails to gain a following.

"After my last clap abortion at the downtown rally, I've decided to call it quits. It's just too embarrassing."

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water candy

Small ice cubes that you give your kids from your drink at a restaurant or McDonald's or wherever to keep them quiet and happy.

Dad: "Hey, kids, want some water candy?"
Kids: "Yeah!"
Dad: "OK, but now be quiet while I eat my steak." (thinking to himself, "Silly little munchkins.")

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loosey goosey

Not following prescribed guidelines or general societal expectations. Very casual. Bypassing certain boundaries.

Jack always comes to work late. I guess both he and the boss are loosey goosey when it comes to punctuality.

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