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A Clitary Executor. A single fellows best friend who, in the event of his untimely death, is charged with the important task of removing and disposing of his stash of grumblebefore his grieving parents arrive tosearch through his effects for touching momentoes, and things to put on eBay.
If former Poet Laureate and lifelong jazz enthusiast Philip Larkin's porn buddy had managed to carry out the Hull Universty Librarians final wishes, it is estimated that the resulting bonfire of hardcore art pamphlets would have been visible from the Moon
54π 15π
Polite term for knacker discomfort
"forgive me your majesty, whilst i adjust my doublet and hose. I have sailed the oceans these last six months and have not changed my codpiece since we left the New World. I fear i have the most awful Betties (Sir Walter Raleigh, Audience with Queen Elizabeth I, 1584) Betty Swollocks
74π 41π
Female perineum; that area of the anatomy between the twat and the shitter
Stop Tony, your not even in... your only just touching my twitter, from The Diaries of Cherie Blair
65π 121π
Imaginary optical aids through which ugly women begin to appear attractive after you have drunk too much beer.
"What? You fancy that!?! You must be wearing beer goggles".
230π 75π
A twat which makes a mouse's ear look like a horse's collar
`Consigniawas powerless to resist. His eyes burnt into hers like like ambers. His muscular arms enfolded her her body as she felt herself being swept away on a tradewind of passion. "Now Fernando," she gasped "Take me now. All these years in the convent i've been saving myself for the right man, and now i've found you." "Fucking get," breathed Fernando. "you must have a snatch like a mole's eye." (from `The Nun and the Windowcleaner` by Barbara Cartland
7π 4π
A jazz or scud magazine; one handed reading material.
"Hey Gordon, wheres the art pamphlets, Cherie's on the blob and i'm gonna have to knock one out before I address Parliament on climate change". "There in the shitter where you left them Tony, you fucking twat"
18π 3π
Vagina. Also sim. to imply generous proportions
"She's got a fanny like a horses collar" (as opposed to a mouse's ear).
717π 142π