Alford

Alford (pronounced aff-fud) is a term used by the overly-private to describe their intentions to commit borderline sex crimes anonymously with like-minded consenting individuals.

"I'm going to Alford for the night"

Would perhaps mean:

I'm going to meet a lady who wants to wrap me in cling film and make love to me in front of her dog.

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Going to Alford

A euphemism used in a similar fashion as "Going to see a man about a dog".

'Going to Alford' is usually a polite way of explaining an intention to attend a clandestine sexual meeting with anonymous consenting individuals.

Where's Kyle?

He's 'Going to Alford' for the night.

Filthy bugger.

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